2/7/2024 0 Comments Gay twitter kidsWhile there are many variations, such as “vers”, part of the “second half” of the coming out period for gay men often involves exploring whether they primarily identify as a top (orally or anally) or a bottom, and how they like to experience sexual stimulation that is a part of enjoying your body, and enjoying your life. ![]() It’s a dilemma when so many variables in the relationship work, like compatible interests, values, cultural frame, emotions, social factors, class issues, etc, but when it comes down to what they really like in terms of sexual play, needs, and satisfaction, they both either like penile or anal stimulation more. (This goes beyond just a “ fear of topping” or a “ fear of bottoming“ click on those terms for blog articles on each of those topics.) ![]() In my private practice specializing in gay men’s therapy and coaching (for over 28 years), and more recently specializing more in sex therapy issues, one of the challenges that guys bring to me fairly frequently in asking for help is the dilemma of being in a very good relationship that neither partner wants to leave, but they face a dilemma in that they realize they are either both tops or both bottoms, and they feel the panic of a perceived sexual stalemate.
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